So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
