You made me cry and you don't even care
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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