So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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