So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
