Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize