i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
