i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize