it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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