I have demons in me.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
