You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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