what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
