I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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