he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
