Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Everclear isn't food dammit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
