Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
