Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize