The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize