Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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