we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
