i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
