I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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