But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
