if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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