She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize