she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
