And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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