one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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