He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
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he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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