Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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