The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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