Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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