It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
