Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
