I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
