whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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