mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize