So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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