and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize