dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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