I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
