he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
