I'm drive I can fine osifer
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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