Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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