Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
