He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
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omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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