I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
