The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize