No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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