All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
