I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
