I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
