If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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