Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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