Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
