How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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