good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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