Everything about him screamed your future.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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