Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
