We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Found your dick twin last night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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