Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
