i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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